yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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