you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
