How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
