Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
