it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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