she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
