oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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