I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
