If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
