omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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