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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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