You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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