Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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