you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
