so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize