Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize