:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
