You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
