R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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