So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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