her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
