no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
