clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
