is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
