so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
