It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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