We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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