It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
