yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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