it wasn't lemon gatorade
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
