can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
