So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
