Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I am one with the molecules
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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