If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
