I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
time to smoke my breakfast
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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