4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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