dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
