i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
