I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
