No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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