you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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