bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
