1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
