Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize