I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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