My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
