So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
