I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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