It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
