I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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