Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
