I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
