Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
