Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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