So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
