No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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