So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
