So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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