so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
well you can't waste a boner
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
