I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Panties = found
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
