Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
