yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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